Mrs. Terri Heavener is the Employee of the Month in April. Mrs. Terri plays a major role on our team. She maintains the children’s health records, manages enrollment applications, and parent communication, ensures the teachers have the supplies they need, and fills in when needed in the classroom. We appreciate you Mrs. Terri – thank you for everything you do! She will enjoy the benefits of the Employee of the Month parking space, a gift card and a gold employee of the month pin.
Our Employee of the Month in March is Ms. Rubin. Ms. Rubin is one of our MAPS B teachers. She’s one of the leaders amongst the team, passionate about teaching and a critical thinker. Ms. Rubin, we appreciate you! Enjoy the parking space, Amazon gift card, and Employee of the Month pin.
Mrs. Wong is our Employee of the month for February. Mrs. Wong is always at work at least a half an hour before her start time to prepare for her students, and she is always willing to help her peers. We appreciate you Mrs. Wong! She will enjoy the benefit of the “Employee of the Month” parking space and an Amazon gift card.
Being a toddler teacher, I have helped potty train many kids. It’s rarely easy, and it can be a very stressful experience for those who are not ready for it. Thankfully, there are tips, tricks, and plenty of resources out there to help along the way.
The Science of Potty Training
According to the Seattle Children’s Hospital, an infant does not have the muscle strength to control their bladder until around 18 months old. Just like with any skill, it is something that they will need patience in order to fully master.
The process is also different for girls and boys. The main reason for this is that it takes longer for boys to develop the muscle strength needed to control their bladder. Studies also suggest that girls simply become interested in using the potty earlier than boys do.
How to Know They’re Ready
Without knowing the signs, it can be hard to find the right time to potty train your child. A few things to look for:
Don’t Start Too Early
Rushing a toddler into underwear before they’re ready is a common mistake. This can be a point of much frustration (both to the caregiver and the child), as well as cause an unhealthy relationship with the potty.
It may also cause health concerns. It may cause them to be a “chronic holder” who holds their bladder longer than is healthy (Cleveland Clinic). This can lead to urinary tract infections or constipation.
Accept that Accidents Happen.
While accidents can be frustrating and unpleasant to clean up, it’s all a part of the process. When this happens, it’s important to stay calm and reassure them. Then ask the children to change themselves and help me clean up the mess.
When you get mad about an accident, it can often lead to them being scared, which can then cause more accidents.
Choosing the Best Method.
There are many ways to potty train your child. Not every method will work for you or your child, so use what is best for your family.
If your child is in school, be sure to communicate your plan with your child’s teacher so that they can help and keep consistency.
3-Day Method: How to Potty Train Your Child in 3 Days: Potty Training Tips (verywellfamily.com)
This method is very hands-on and requires you to stay with your child for 3 days. While effective, it requires you to put everything aside and focus only on potty training for the full 3 days, which is not always viable.
Child-Oriented Method: Child-Oriented Potty Training – BabySparks
This is what I personally use in my classroom. As the name suggests, it focuses more on the child’s desire to begin potty training and does not have a “deadline.”
Parent-Lead Method: The Only Potty Training Schedule You’ll Ever Need | WonderBaby.org
Also known as the “Schedule Method,” this one is used for parents who like to follow a strict schedule. It can be combined with either the 3-Day or the Child-Oriented method.
Changing Circumstances
As with any developmental skill, potty training can be affected by major events in a child’s life. It’s very common for a child who has already been potty trained to suddenly start having accidents again if something changes at home, such as the birth of a new baby, a family move, a new school, or even a vacation. It is also not uncommon for a child to have accidents when they get sick.
If it lasts longer than a week and is turning into a pattern, then the child may be experiencing regression. Regression is different than the odd accident out of the blue, or even a short string of accidents that happen within a few days.
What to Do When Regression Happens
Regression does not happen only with potty training. It can also be seen in social skills, language, emotional regulation, or just about any domain (Cleveland Clinic). It’s also not uncommon to see it happen at any age, even well into elementary school.
If a regression does happen, it’s important to assure your child that you are there to support them. Do not put any undue pressure on them, but make sure that the potty is accessible.
You can also try to determine the reason for regression. Was there a change at home, or is it something medical going on? Once you know what is causing the accidents, you can look for a way to help.
The Cleveland Clinic explains many ways to help with regression: Potty-Training Regression: What To Do – Cleveland Clinic
What About Bed-Wetting?
Bed-wetting is very normal (especially in boys) and can persist for many years after a child has been fully potty trained. It can be caused by many things – health concerns, psychological reasons, or even lack of control while sleeping.
In most cases, it goes away by age 6 (Cleveland clinic). If it is happening consistently (at least 2 times a month) after that point, don’t panic! It is always best to talk to your child’s pediatrician about any concerns you have.
Book of the Month: “Potty” by Leslie Patricelli.
A new toddler title charts a crucial achievement. There comes a point in a toddler’s life when going in one’s diaper is only one possible option, and the question must be raised: “Should I go in my potty?”
With pitch-perfect humor and pacing, Leslie Patricelli follows the inner dialogue (sure to have little ones shouting responses) and hilarious actions of everyone’s favorite Baby, winding up with an over-the-top look of surprise and delight that will have both parents and offspring laughing out loud–“I did it!”
Sources:
Glowacki, J. (2015) Oh crap! potty training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right. Gallery Books.
(2021) The best potty training tips, Cleveland Clinic. Cleveland Clinic. Available at: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/the-best-potty-training-tips/#:~:text=To%20help%20you%20reach%20toilet%20training%20nirvana%2C%20invest,clean-up%21%204%20Children%E2%80%99s%20books%20to%20pass%20the%20time. (Accessed: February 24, 2023).
Lonzer, D. (2022) Potty-Training Regression: What To Do About It, Cleveland Clinic. Cleveland Clinic. Available at: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-to-do-when-your-potty-trained-child-suddenly-isnt/ (Accessed: February 24, 2023).
Potty training your child – Seattle Children’s (no date) Seattle Children’s Hospital. Available at: https://www.seattlechildrens.org/health-safety/keeping-kids-healthy/development/toliet-potty-training/ (Accessed: February 24, 2023).
A trail of muddy footprints leads from the back door to the kitchen. A colorful smear of paint on the bedroom wall. Toys have been dumped all around the living room floor. You heave a sigh, not looking forward to cleaning up the mess.
It’s no secret; children favor messy activities. Splashing in water, finger- painting, digging in the dirt—you name it. However, caregivers often don’t want to deal with the clean- up afterwards, so they avoid these activities. Other times, they want to do these things but just don’t know where to start.
Sensory/messy play is an essential part of a child’s growing development. So, how can we offer it without overwhelming ourselves?
What is sensory play?
In childcare, when we say “sensory play” it is often referring to science activities. However, science is just the tip of the iceberg. Sensory play refers to any activity that involves the senses. The more senses an activity incorporates, the better!
You’d be surprised what counts as “sensory play.” Trying new food? A good sensory opportunity. Going to the beach? Lots of new sounds, smells, and textures for children to explore. Even listening to music or going outside offers important sensory input for children. Even infants learn about the world through sensory activities.
Why is sensory play important?
Sensory play holds a very important role in a child’s development, in both the short and long term. Here are just a few reasons why it helps:
Having several opportunities through the day for children to explore with their senses is vital to their growth and development. Caregivers can offer both structured and unstructured activities.
How can I “accept the mess?”
It can be very hard allowing your child to fully explore sensory activities. When I was brand new to teaching, I was far too focused on the aspect of “cleaning it up” and not the importance of allowing my students to make that mess. We often forget that the process for learning can be very chaotic at times, and that a child NEEDS to dump water onto the floor just to see what happens.
So, what can we do about it? I decided to start where it would be easier for myself. At first, water play made me frustrated with how many times I needed to wipe it off the floor, so I traded it out for simple shredded paper and built myself up from there. There are still some days where I decide a huge mess would be too overwhelming, and so I trade it out for something more manageable, saving the big mess for another day.
If messy play makes you anxious or is overwhelming, then start where you are most comfortable. You can make it easier on yourself by putting a tarp underneath or keeping it outside/in the kitchen. You can even ask your little one to help with the cleanup by handing them a child-sized broom or a wet-wipe. After all, even cleaning up can be a fun sensory experience!
How do I introduce sensory play?
Chances are, you’ve already introduced sensory play without even realizing it. However, there are several ways to deliberately encourage sensory play. Factors to keep in mind are a child’s age, interests, and developmental stage.
For infants, start small. Offer them textile blocks, colorful scarves, or music.
For older children, try spraying some shaving cream on the table and letting them play with it. You can also take them outside to dig in the garden or pick flowers. Going to a petting zoo or farm is also a great experience for them.
You can also start a sensory bin – get a large, clear tub and fill it up with whatever you want. You can put it in the kitchen, on the porch, or even on a spare table. Sensory tubs can also be purchased online if you want one with a fun design to it.
You can fill the tub with dried oats, magic sand, fake snow – anything you can think of! Your children may also have some great ideas for it.
Other sensory bin Ideas:
For Infants: 35+ Brilliant sensory bins for Babies – Kid Activities with Alexa
For Toddlers: Sensory Bins Ideas for Toddlers – Enchanted HomeSchooling Mom
For Preschoolers: 19 Amazing Sensory Bins for Preschool – Taming Little Monsters
For School-age: Sensory Bin Ideas for Kindergarten at Home – How Wee Learn
How else can I offer sensory play?
Some children are more sensitive to sensory input than others. They may dislike the feeling of paint on their hands, or certain textures might make them upset. Luckily, there are many ways we can change the game and help them feel more at ease. Sensory toys such as Pop-its or a weighted blanket are a great place to start. For some older children, you could offer them a pair of gloves so they can protect their hands.
If a child is simply not engaged, try catering it to their interests. Are they super into cars? Try having them drive trucks through the mud. Do they like baby dolls? Make a “baby doll bath station.” The possibilities are endless.
Book of the Month: Faith and Science with Dr. Fizzlebop: 52 Fizztastically Fun Experiments and Devotions for Families.
A fun science book that incorporates experiments with devotionals. Inspiration comes from bible stories, learning about the world through hands-on experience. Aimed at an older preschool/kindergarten demographic.
Sources:
Kostelyk, S. (2020) The importance of sensory play for children, The Chaos and the Clutter. Available at: https://www.thechaosandtheclutter.com/archives/the-importance-of-sensory-play-for-children (Accessed: October 12, 2022).
Susie (2018) Are you terrified of messy play? (You don’t have to be!), Busy Toddler. Available at: https://busytoddler.com/managing-messy-sensory-play/ (Accessed: October 12, 2022).
What is sensory play and why is it important? (2019) UGro. Available at: https://www.u-gro.com/blog/2019/06/what-is-sensory-play-and-why-is-it-important/ (Accessed: October 12, 2022).
What is sensory play and why is it important? (2022) Action for Children. Available at: https://www.actionforchildren.org.uk/blog/what-is-sensory-play-and-why-is-it-important/ (Accessed: October 12, 2022).
Have you ever wondered why your child scribbles? Congratulations—they’re learning to write! Are they making a long string of random letters, with no clear words in it? That is an important stage to writing called Emergent Writing.
Learning to write is a very long process that can take 6-8 years to perfect, with many stages and steps along the way. While there are ways we can support a child’s writing skills, it’s important that we do not rush them. They should be allowed to figure it out at their own pace.
When will they start writing?
Depending on the child, they will start writing around 5-6 years old. However, a child is learning the skills necessary to write from as young as 6 months old.
When learning to write, there are a lot of steps that a child must go through before they’re ready.
(NAEYC, 2017)
Why do they hold crayons like that?
As they build up the muscles in their hand, children will hold writing utensils in many ways. The way they hold it right now is simply the most comfortable way for them.
(Greutman, 2010)
They may spend a longer or shorter amount of time on any step than this diagram provides. They may even skip a step entirely. This is perfectly okay, as it’s important for them to explore their strengths and grow confidence in their abilities.
Right vs. left handedness
A child usually shows their hand preference around age 3, though this may take more or less time, depending on the child. Both right- and left-handed dominance is natural, and there is no difference in how they will learn to write.
I want to stress that it is NOT a good idea to force a left-handed child to be right-handed. When you force any child to use their non-dominant hand for an extended period, it disrupts the natural flow of their brain, and can cause several short- and long-term effects such as bedwetting, extreme fatigue, poor concentration, and more. (Penwise, 2021).
How can I support their writing skills?
There are many ways to help children learn to write, and it’s important to give them many opportunities to practice.
What are open-ended questions?
An open-ended question is a question with no clear answer. It’s okay if a child does not answer right away, as it will still get them to think. Even when they are not talking yet, it’s good to help them learn vocabulary and recognize words. A few questions you could ask are:
If you’d like to learn more, here is an article that goes more in-depth on why open-ended questions are important to early language/literacy skills: 75 Interesting Open-Ended Questions For Children (firstcry.com)
Book of the Month: The Boy Who Loved Words, by Roni Schotter
In this Parents’ Choice Gold Award-–winning book, Selig collects words, ones that stir his heart (Mama!) and ones that make him laugh (giggle). But what to do with so many luscious words? After helping a poet find the perfect words for his poem (lozenge, lemon, and licorice), he figures it out: His purpose is to spread the word to others. And so, he begins to sprinkle, disburse, and broadcast them to people in need.
References
Booe, M. and Booe, J., 2022. Forcing A Left-Handed Child To Be Right Handed: A Good Idea? | Little Ninja Parenting. [online] Little Ninja Parenting. Available at: <https://littleninjaparenting.com/forcing-a-left-handed-child-to-be-right-handed-a-good-idea/> [Accessed 12 September 2022].
Greutman, H., 2010. Typical Pencil Grasp Development for Kids. [online] Growing Hands-On Kids. Available at: <https://www.growinghandsonkids.com/pencil-grasp-development-for-writing.html> [Accessed 12 September 2022].
Kids, P., 2022. Support your preschooler’s emergent writing skills. [online] Library.pima.gov. Available at: <https://www.library.pima.gov/blogs/post/support-your-preschoolers-emergent-writing-skills/> [Accessed 12 September 2022].
Kim, T., 2022. Promoting Preschoolers’ Emergent Writing. [online] NAEYC. Available at: <https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/nov2017/emergent-writing> [Accessed 12 September 2022].
Klöppel, S., Mangin, J., Vongerichten, A., Frackowiak, R. and Siebner, H., 2010. Nature vs. Nurture; Long-Term Impact of Forced Right-Handedness on Structure of Pericentral Cortex and Basal Ganglia. [online] JNeurosci. Available at: <https://www.jneurosci.org/content/30/9/3271> [Accessed 12 September 2022].
The start of the school year is fast approaching, and many new children will be coming to the classrooms. Some are used to preschool; others are brand new. It’s a busy time of the year, and a major transition for children of all ages.
Whether or not this is their first time at school, it’s common for a child to be upset or anxious that you’ll be leaving them alone for the day. Not only is it difficult for children, but it can also be a tough time for parents and caregivers. Separation anxiety can affect everyone, and it should be taken seriously.
Thankfully, there are ways to ease the stress of drop- off, setting both you and your child up for success.
Start the day off right.
Wake up at the same time every day and eat a good breakfast. Get your child active even before you get in the car, either with a morning dance party, a short walk, or even just a short stretch in the morning. When they’re in a good mood, it’ll be a lot easier for them to say goodbye and settle into the classroom.
Establish a short, simple, and consistent drop-off routine.
Most children thrive off a predictable routine. If they know what to expect, it will be easier for them to process that you’re going away. It can be a quick hug and kiss, then handing them off to their teacher. If you’re finding it particularly hard, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Please do not sneak away; while it may be easier in the moment, it will be harder emotionally on your child when they look up and realize you’re gone, and it can complicate drop-offs in the future.
Talk it up.
In advance, talk about how they are going to go to school. Talk about how they can play with toys, eat lunch, make new friends, etc.
There are also quite a few books that can help your child understand. A few I really like are:
Let them bring a comfort item.
A small stuffed animal or blanket can help a lot when they are missing home—just make sure your child’s teacher is okay with this beforehand. If the class doesn’t allow toys from home, then you can offer them something of yours,– such as your hat or scarf. You could also write them a note or offer to bring a book from home (just make sure it’s labeled).
You can also send a family photo with them to school. Many preschools do have a “family wall” in each classroom, but even as they head off to elementary school, it can be nice to have a reminder of home with them.
Talk to your child’s teacher.
Progress can be slow, but if it seems as if your child isn’t getting better as the year goes on, try asking their teacher how they are after you leave. Often, children calm down quickly after you leave. You can ask for pictures or send a quick email/message to check in.
Be prepared for setbacks.
It’s quite common for children to “roll back” in their progress, especially if there is a teacher change, a new classmate, or an interruption of their routine like a vacation. Even a child who has had easy transitions from the start can decide one day “I don’t want to go to school.” It’s important to keep steady with your drop-off routine.
Don’t forget yourself!
I had a mother a few years ago who struggled a lot with separation anxiety. She was so focused on her child having a smooth transition that she forgot to take care of herself. I approached her one day and asked if she wanted to read a story to the children before she left, and it really helped her accept that she was leaving her child for the day. After that, she would ask if she’d be able to read when she was having a particularly hard day, and we were more than happy to have a guest reader.
Of course, not every parent has the time to stay and read a story. So, what can you do? Some of the same ways to help your child can also help you. Keep a picture of your child close, check in with your child’s teacher on how they’re doing, and remind yourself it isn’t forever, just a short while. Don’t be afraid to talk with someone—a friend, your partner, or a professional.
Know that you are not alone—many parents feel this way too.
Book of the Month: Chu’s First Day of School Board Book. By Neil Gaiman and Adam Rex.
Chu, the adorable panda with a great big sneeze, is heading off for his first day of school, and he’s nervous. He hopes the other boys and girls will be nice. Will they like him? What will happen at school? And will Chu do what he does best?
References
Butler, A. and Ostrosky, M., 2018. Reducing Challenging Behaviors during Transitions: Strategies for Early Childhood Educators to Share with Parents. [online] NAEYC. Available at: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/blog/2017/08/10/parental-separation-anxiety [Accessed 12 August 2022].
Hoggard, E., 2017. Understanding Parental Separation Anxiety. [online] Counselling-directory.org.uk. Available at: https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/sep2018/reducing-challenging-behaviors-during-transitions [Accessed 12 August 2022].
Robinson, L., Segal, J. and Smith, M., 2021. Separation Anxiety and Separation Anxiety Disorder – HelpGuide.org. [online] HelpGuide.org. Available at: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/separation-anxiety-and-separation-anxiety-disorder.htm [Accessed 12 August 2022].
Robinson, T., 2017. From a Preschool Teacher: The Do’s and (please) Don’ts of Dropping Off your Kid. [online] Scary Mommy. Available at: https://www.scarymommy.com/dos-donts-separation-anxiety-from-teacher [Accessed 12 August 2022].
Swanson, W., 2021. How to Ease Your Child’s Separation Anxiety. [online] HealthyChildren.org. Available at: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/Pages/Soothing-Your-Childs-Separation-Anxiety.aspx [Accessed 12 August 2022].
Breakfast: the most important meal of the day. This rings even more true for our young ones. It’s when they get much of the energy required to learn, play, and grow.
A couple years ago, I had a child who would come into school every day absolutely miserable. He would cry inconsolably and refused to play or partake in any of the morning activities. It wasn’t until lunchtime, when he was able to eat, that he finally calmed down. He was the happiest boy for the rest of the day.
We talked to the parents about this, and quickly discovered that his breakfast consisted only of baby mash and a cup of milk. He hated eating it and was refusing to eat enough to satisfy his hunger. Once we talked about changing breakfast to include food that was a little more appetizing, he came in smiling and had much smoother drop-offs from then on.
While doing your own work, whether that’s sitting at a desk or being up on your feet, when do you focus the best? It’s likely you’ve experienced an empty stomach, where all you can think about is what you’ll get for lunch; maybe you skipped breakfast that day, or all you managed was a donut. Either way, you are not getting as much work done as you would on a full stomach.
The same goes for our children. Their work is play, but it’s hard for them to focus on playing if all they can think about is the rumbling in their stomachs.
In childhood philosophy, we often discuss a theory known as “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.” The theory goes that you need each level of the pyramid in order to fill the needs of the next level. If one level of the hierarchy is not being met or fulfilled, then a child cannot develop to their fullest extent. (McLeod, 2007)
For now, we will focus on just the bottom level: physiological needs. More specifically, we will focus on the need “food.” This includes far more than making sure there is enough to eat, we also need to be giving children a well-balanced diet. Every kid enjoys sweets such as ice cream or pastries, some might only want to eat pasta and nothing else, but this will not keep them full or give them the nutrients to grow their brain and body. So, what should we be giving them?
It is best to offer a variety of foods so that they do not get bored with breakfast and help broaden their tastes so that they are more willing to try new and healthier foods.
Proteins: Foods such as meat, eggs, beans, and yogurt that will keep them full for longer. Protein will digest much slower than foods that are high in sugar, as it has many more nutrients to be dissolved into the blood stream and it won’t give your child a “sugar crash” later in the day. Proteins also provide the much-needed “building blocks” to make and repair cells in the body. (Why Is Protein Important In Your Diet? | Piedmont Healthcare, n.d.)
Complex Carbohydrates: Often found in fruits, starchy vegetables (squash, peas, etc), and whole grains. This will help provide your toddler’s brain and muscles with the energy they need, keeping them active throughout the day. Just as with protein, complex carbs keep you fuller for longer. It takes the body a lot longer to digest, and it can use the nutrients found in complex carbs more than in simple carbs such as in sweets, pastries, and sodas. (Younkin, 2017)
Healthy Fats: Ground flax seeds, olive oil, nut spreads, and even avocado can be worked into their breakfasts. Fats are important for a child’s brain development, giving the brain an “insulator for electricity.” (Why Is There so Much Fat in Our Brain?, n.d.)
Liquids: Drinks are important too! Offer them a cup of milk or water. You can even offer them a fruit/veggie smoothie if you have the time to make one.
Try to avoid sugary and artificially sweetened foods. If you’re worried about oatmeal being too bland or yogurt seeming unappealing, try mixing fresh fruits to naturally sweeten it. Bananas, strawberries, or blueberries are a great way to start; just make sure they are cut up into manageable sizes for your little one.
If you’re having a hard time getting them to eat, here are a few tips to help ease them into these new foods:
Here are a few places to find simple recipes to get you started:
Simple Toddler Recipes: 15 Toddler Breakfast Ideas (Easy + Healthy) | Dietitian Meets Mom
Vegan Breakfast options: 17 Easy Vegan Breakfast Ideas | Cooking Light
Nut Free ideas: 17 Nut Free Breakfast Ideas to Jumpstart your Morning| Nut Free
Thank you for reading!
Book of the Month: “Can you Smell Breakfast?” By Edward Jazz. “Can you Smell Breakfast?” | Amazon
Ivy and her mom try to figure out what dad’s cooking in the kitchen by the smell of it. Is it pancakes? Cotton Candy? Oatmeal?
Sources:
Fish, J., n.d. 15 Toddler Breakfast Ideas (Easy + Healthy). [online] Dietitian Meets Mom. Available at: https://dietitianmeetsmom.com/toddler-breakfast-ideas-healthy/#:~:text=Meat%2C%20eggs%2C%20beans%2C%20yogurt%2C%20and%20nut%20butter%20are,and%20corn%29%2C%20and%20even%20whole%20grains%20provide%20energy. [Accessed 6 July 2022].
McLeod, S., 2007. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. [online] Simplypsychology.org. Available at: https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html [Accessed 6 July 2022].
Piedmont.org. n.d. Why Is Protein Important In Your Diet? | Piedmont Healthcare. [online] Available at: https://www.piedmont.org/living-better/why-is-protein-important-in-your-diet [Accessed 6 July 2022].
Exploring your mind. n.d. Why Is There so Much Fat in Our Brain? [online] Available at: https://exploringyourmind.com/why-is-there-so-much-fat-in-our-brain/ [Accessed 6 July 2022].
Younkin, L., 2017. What Is a Complex Carbohydrate? [online] EatingWell. Available at: https://www.eatingwell.com/article/290631/what-is-a-complex-carbohydrate/ [Accessed 6 July 2022].
Have you ever heard a young child say “You can’t come to my birthday party!” or “I won’t be your friend if you don’t give me that”? Around 3 – 4 years old, children start becoming more aware of how their actions affect others. They are increasingly aware that people may have different feelings about the same situation, and some may use this to their advantage.
Statements like those above may be a sign of relational aggression – “behaviors that are intended to significantly damage another child’s friendship or feelings of inclusion by the peer group” (Crick & Grotpeter 1995, 711). These behaviors often begin in preschool. Like physical aggression, relational aggression is common behavior and developmentally appropriate for this age group. However, we wouldn’t allow children to hurt one another physically, so why do we sometimes brush aside hurtful words? Helping children find alternatives to aggression as early as possible should be one of our main goals as parents, caregivers, and educators.
The following strategies can be helpful when children are displaying relational aggression:
Teaching alternatives to all forms of aggression in young children is essential because of the lifelong impacts. Being aware of how we respond to relational aggression, teaching prosocial problem-solving skills, and teaching social skills are critical for our children to experience fulfilling relationships.
Crick, N.R, J.K Grotpeter. 1995. “Relational Aggression, Gender, and Social – Psychological Adjustment.” Child Development 66 (3): 711
